教你如何寫出有說服力的電子郵件
Follow this simple，six-step system to ensure your e-mails get the job done.
遵循確保你的電子郵件能完成任務(wù)的簡單六步法。
E-mails are the most common document in the business world.Unfortunately，many e-mails are so poorly written that recipients must struggle to figure out why they‘re reading the e-mail and what they’re supposed to do about it.
電子郵件是商業(yè)世界里最常見的文件形式。不幸的是，很多電子郵件都寫得非常差，以至于郵件接收者必須努力搞清楚他們?yōu)槭裁丛谧x那封電子郵件以及他們應(yīng)該針對那封電子郵件的內(nèi)容做什么事情。
Here‘s a foolproof method to write e-mails that get the job done.
以下是讓電子郵件完成任務(wù)的簡單且萬無一失的方法。
1.Have a specific decision in mind.
1.在心中有一個具體的決定。
The goal of an e-mail is always to get the recipient(s)to make a decision of some kind.Otherwise，why bother writing the it?Therefore，before you write anything，ask yourself：exactly what decision do I want the recipient to make?As with all business writing，vagueness is the opposite of useful.The clearer the goal，the more convincing your e-mail will be.
電子郵件的目的總是讓郵件接收者做出某種決定。否則，為什么要費(fèi)勁寫電子郵件呢?因此，在你寫任何東西之前，你都要問自己：我到底想讓郵件接收者做出什么樣的決定?就所有的商業(yè)寫作而言，模糊性是實(shí)用性的對立面。你的電子郵件的目標(biāo)越清晰越有說服力。
2.Start by writing your conclusion.
2.以你的結(jié)論為開始寫電子郵件。
Your conclusion is a statement of the decision that you want the recipient to make，based upon the contents of your e-mail.
你的結(jié)論是你想讓郵件接收者做出什么樣的決定的一個聲明，而這個決定要基于你的電子郵件內(nèi)容做出。
In school，they probably taught you to start with an introduction and end with an conclusion.Wrong.Nobody in the business world has time to wander through the development of an idea.If you don’t tell them the reason for the e-mail immediately，chances are they‘ll just move on.So you start with your conclusion.For example，suppose your goal is get your boss to approve an in-house gym.
在學(xué)校里，他們可能教你以介紹內(nèi)容開始以結(jié)論結(jié)束。錯誤。商業(yè)世界里沒有人有時間去揣摩一個想法的發(fā)展過程。如果你不立即告訴他們你寫電子郵件的原因，他們很可能就會繼續(xù)干別的事情。所以你要以結(jié)論為開始。例如，假設(shè)你的目標(biāo)是讓你的老板同意建一個內(nèi)部的健身房。
WRONG：
Jim，
As you know，employee absenteeism is generally recognized as an ongoing problem with a steep financial impact，both in our company and in other companies in our industries.[yada，yada，yada]Therefore，we should consider allocating money for the installation of a gym at our headquarter facility.
錯誤的說法：
吉姆，
如你所知，員工曠工是一個公認(rèn)的持續(xù)存在的問題，而且這一問題對我們公司和我們所處行業(yè)的其它公司都有難以承受的財(cái)務(wù)影響等等。因此，我們應(yīng)該考慮撥款在我們的總部基礎(chǔ)設(shè)施中建造一個健身房。
RIGHT：
Jim，
I want you to approve the installation of an in-house gym.
正確的說法：
吉姆，
我想讓你批準(zhǔn)建立一個內(nèi)部的健身房。
3.Structure your supporting argument into“digestible chunks.”
3.把你的支持論據(jù)組織成“容易理解的小塊”。
Once you’ve stated your conclusion，marshall the arguments that support your conclusion(i.e.The decision you want made)。To make your arguments“digestible，”break them into small“chunks，”and present each point with a similar format and sentence structure.
一旦你說出了結(jié)論，就要使用能夠支持你的'結(jié)論(即你想要做出的決定)的論據(jù)。要使你的論據(jù)“容易理解”，你要把它們分成小“塊”，并以相似的格式和句子結(jié)構(gòu)呈現(xiàn)每一個論據(jù)。
WRONG：
According to a recently published government report，group physical fitness is extremely important even though very few companies actually demonstrate a commitment to it!Many firms identify physical fitness as an undervalued competitive asset，but don‘t have a plan for improvement in this area，even though physical fitness is strongly linked to corporate and individual economic and personal success.I feel that if we do not address the issue of physical fitness as it enhances workplace productivity，we will be left behind.
錯誤的做法：
根據(jù)最近發(fā)表的一項(xiàng)政府工作報(bào)告，團(tuán)體身體健康情況非常重要，雖然很少有公司會真正地展示出對團(tuán)體身體健康做出的承諾!很多公司確定身體健康是一項(xiàng)被低估的競爭性資產(chǎn)，盡管身體健康與公司和個人的經(jīng)濟(jì)和個人成功有密切關(guān)系，但是他們在這個領(lǐng)域還沒有改進(jìn)計(jì)劃。我覺得如果我們不解決身體健康這個問題，我們將會被落下，因?yàn)樗芴岣吖ぷ鲌鏊墓ぷ餍省?/p>
RIGHT：
An in-house gym will：
-Reduce absenteeism.
-Increase overall productivity.
正確的說法：
一個內(nèi)部的健身房將會：
——減少曠工。
——提高整體的生產(chǎn)效率。
4.Bolster each argument with evidence.
4.用證據(jù)支持每一個論點(diǎn)。
It’s been said that everyone has two things：a sphincter and an opinion.Unless you provide facts that back up your arguments，your e-mail becomes one giant，opinion and therefore，in the eyes of the recipient，you‘ll probably seem like one，giant.。。well.。。，you get the idea.
眾所周知每個人都有兩樣?xùn)|西：括約肌和想法。除非你提供支持你的論點(diǎn)的事實(shí)，否則你的電子郵件會成為一個龐然大物，因此在接收者的眼里你的意見似乎就像是一個龐然大物……嗯……你懂的。
WRONG：
An in-house gym will reduce absenteeism because then people will want to come to work rather than stay at home and they won’t get sick so much.
錯誤的說法：
內(nèi)部健身房將會減少曠工，因?yàn)槟菚r人們將會愿意來工作而不是呆在家里，而且他們也不會生那么多病了。
RIGHT：
-Reduce absenteeism.According to a National Health Institute survey of 1，000 firms，companies with in-house gyms experience 20%less absenteeism than those who lack such facilities.
正確的說法：
-減少曠工。根據(jù)國家健康研究所對1000家公司進(jìn)行的調(diào)查結(jié)果，有內(nèi)部健身房的公司比沒有內(nèi)部健身房的公司的曠工率少20%。
5.Repeat your conclusion as a“call to action.”
5.把你的結(jié)論作為“行動口號”來重復(fù)。
At the end of the e-mail，restate the conclusion in a way that provides the recipient with the next step that the recipient must take，assuming the recipient now agrees with your conclusion，based upon the force of your arguments and evidence.Keep it simple and specific.
在郵件結(jié)尾處以給收件人提供下一步必須采取什么行動的方式重申結(jié)論，基于你的論點(diǎn)和證據(jù)的力度假設(shè)接收者同意你的結(jié)論。要讓結(jié)論保持簡單和具體。
WRONG：
Your support for this project would be greatly appreciated.
錯誤的說法：
你對此項(xiàng)目的支持，我將不勝感激。
RIGHT：
If you respond to this e-mail with your approval，I‘ll get the process started.
正確的說法：
如果你回復(fù)郵件批準(zhǔn)此事，我將啟動這個項(xiàng)目。
6.Stick a benefit in the subject line.
6.在主題行寫上一個好處。
Your subject line(aka“title”)is the most important part of an e-mail，which is why you write it last，after you’ve written down both your conclusion and the arguments and evidence that supports that conclusion.
你的主題行(又名“標(biāo)題行”)是一封電子郵件中最重要的部分，這就是在你寫下你的結(jié)論和支持結(jié)論的論點(diǎn)和證據(jù)后最后再寫主題的原因。
Ideally，a subject line should accomplish two important tasks：1)interest the recipient enough so that the e-mail gets opened and read，and 2)imply the conclusion that you want to the recipient to accept.
理想情況下，一個標(biāo)題行應(yīng)該完成兩項(xiàng)重要任務(wù)：1)足夠地吸引接收者，這樣接收者能夠打開電子郵件并閱讀電子郵件2)暗示你想讓接收者接受的結(jié)論。
In most cases，the best way to accomplish both tasks is to encapsulate a benefit(or benefits)that will result from the decision that you‘d like the recipient to make.
在大多數(shù)情況下，完成兩項(xiàng)任務(wù)最好的方法就是概括你想要接收者做出的決定將會帶來的一個好處或者多個好處。
WRONG：
Subject：The Health Impact of In-House Employee Fitness Program
錯誤的說法：
主題：內(nèi)部員工健身項(xiàng)目的健康影響
RIGHT：
Subject：How we can reduce absenteeis
正確的說法：
主題：我們能如何減少曠工
To wrap it up，here are the two e-mails：
不多說了，以下是兩封電子郵件：
WRONG：
To：Jim@Acme.COM
Subject：The Health Impact of In-House Employee Fitness Programs
Jim，
As you know，employee absenteeism is generally recognized as an ongoing problem with a steep financial impact，both in our company and in other companies in our industries.An in-house gym will reduce absenteeism because then people will want to come to work rather than stay at home and they won’t get sick so much.Therefore，we should consider allocating money for the installation of a gym at our headquarters facility.Your support for this project would be greatly appreciated.
Jill
錯誤的說法：
至：Jim@Acme.COM
主題：內(nèi)部員工健身項(xiàng)目的健康影響
吉姆，
如你所知，員工曠工是一個公認(rèn)的持續(xù)存在的問題，而且這一問題對我們公司和我們所處行業(yè)的其它公司都有難以承受的財(cái)務(wù)影響。內(nèi)部健身房將會減少曠工，因?yàn)槟菚r人們將會愿意來工作而不是呆在家里，而且他們也不會生那么多病了。因此，我們應(yīng)該考慮撥款在總部基礎(chǔ)設(shè)施中建造一個健身房。你對此項(xiàng)目的支持，我將不勝感激。
吉爾
RIGHT：
To：Jim@Acme.COM
Subject：How we can reduce absenteeism
Jim，
I want you to approve the installation of an in-house gym.This will：
-Reduce absenteeism.According to a National Health Institute survey of 1，000 firms，companies with in-house gyms experience 20%less absenteeism than those who lack such facilities.
-Increase productivity.We have 50%more absenteeism than other firms in our industry，so reducing that number by 20%will automatically increase our productivity by 10%。
If you respond to this e-mail with your approval，I‘ll get the process started.
Jill
正確的說法：
至：Jim@Acme.COM
主題：我們能如何減少曠工
吉姆，我想讓你批準(zhǔn)建造一個內(nèi)部的健身房。這將會：
——減少曠工。根據(jù)國家健康研究所對1000家公司進(jìn)行的調(diào)查結(jié)果，有內(nèi)部健身房的公司比沒有內(nèi)部健身房的公司的曠工率少20%。
——提高生產(chǎn)效率。我們公司比其它同行業(yè)公司的曠工率高出50%，所以把曠工率減少20%自然會把我們的生產(chǎn)效率提高10%。
如果你回復(fù)郵件批準(zhǔn)此事，我將啟動這個項(xiàng)目。
吉爾
Seriously，which of the two e-mails do YOU think is more likely to move your agenda forward?
認(rèn)真地說你認(rèn)為這兩封電子郵件哪一封更可能推進(jìn)你的工作日程呢?
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