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傾聽是一劑良藥
“沒(méi)有人有耐心聽你講完自己的故事，因?yàn)槊總�(gè)人都有自己的話要說(shuō);沒(méi)有人喜歡聽你抱怨生活，因?yàn)槊總�(gè)人都有自己的苦痛;世人多半寂寞，這世界愿意傾聽，習(xí)慣沉默的人，難得幾個(gè)。我再也不想對(duì)別人提起自己的過(guò)往，那些掙扎在夢(mèng)魘中的寂寞，荒蕪，還是交給時(shí)間，慢慢淡漠。”——幾米
Studies have shown it takes a physician about 18 seconds to interrupt a patient after they begin talking.
研究證明，醫(yī)患開始交談后，醫(yī)生會(huì)在大概18秒后打斷病人的談話。
It was Sunday. I had one last patient to see. I approached her room in a hurry and stood at the doorway. She was an older woman, sitting at the edge of the bed, struggling to put socks on her swollen feet. I crossed the threshold, spoke quickly to the nurse, scanned her chart noting she was in stable condition. I was almost in the clear.
那是一個(gè)周日，我要去見最后一位病人。我匆匆忙忙地走向她的病房，站到了門口。病人是位老婦人，此時(shí)她正坐在床沿上努力為自己浮腫的雙腳穿上襪子。我跨進(jìn)屋，快速和護(hù)士進(jìn)行了交流，然后看了看病人的病歷表。根據(jù)表格上的記錄，她目前狀況穩(wěn)定。一套程序下來(lái)，我?guī)缀鯖](méi)遇到什么困難。
I leaned on the bedrail looking down at her. She asked if I could help put on her socks. Instead, I launched into a monologue that went
something like this: “How are you feeling? Your sugars and blood pressure were high but they’re better today. The nurse mentioned you’re anxious to see your son who’s visiting you today. It’s nice to have family visit from far away. I bet you really look forward to seeing him.”
我倚在床欄上低頭看著她。她問(wèn)我是否可以幫她把襪子穿上，我沒(méi)有回答，而是自顧自地說(shuō)起來(lái)：“你感覺怎么樣?你的血糖和血壓以前有點(diǎn)高，不過(guò)今天好多了。你的兒子今天要來(lái)看你，護(hù)士說(shuō)你非常想見他。有家人遠(yuǎn)道來(lái)看望自己真是不錯(cuò)。我相信你真的很渴望見到他。”大概就是這類話。
She stopped me with a stern, authoritative voice. “Sit down, doctor. This is my story, not your story.”
她用一種嚴(yán)厲、命令性的口氣將我打斷：“大夫，坐下來(lái)。這是我的事兒，不是你的。”
I was surprised and embarrassed. I sat down. I helped her with the socks. She began to tell me that her only son lived around the corner from her, but she had not seen him in five years. She believed that the stress of this contributed greatly to her health problems. After
hearing her story and putting on her socks, I asked if there was anything else I could do for her. She shook her head no and smiled. All she wanted me to do was to listen.
我既驚訝又尷尬。我坐了下來(lái)，幫她穿襪子。她告訴我，她的獨(dú)生子就住在她家附近，但她已經(jīng)有五年沒(méi)見到兒子了。她相信，這件事給她的`壓力很大程度上加重了她的病情。聽完她的故事并幫她穿上襪子后，我問(wèn)她，我還能為她做些什么。她搖了搖頭表示沒(méi)有，然后笑了起來(lái)。她要讓我做的全部事情就是聽她講故事。
Each story is different. Some are detailed; others are vague. Some have a beginning, middle and end. Others wander without a clear conclusion. Some are true; others not. Yet all those things do not really matter. What matters to the storyteller is that the story is heard – without interruption, assumption or judgment.
每個(gè)故事都是不同的。有些故事詳細(xì)，有些卻模糊;有些故事有開始、經(jīng)過(guò)和結(jié)果，有些則天馬行空，沒(méi)有明確的結(jié)論;有些故事是真實(shí)的，而有些不是。不過(guò)，這些要素都不是最重要的。對(duì)講述者來(lái)說(shuō)，真正重要的是，這個(gè)故事要有人去傾聽——不要打斷，不要臆斷，也不要去評(píng)價(jià)。
Listening to someone’s story costs less than expensive diagnostic testing but is key to healing and diagnosis.
去聽別人講故事比進(jìn)行昂貴的診斷測(cè)試成本低得多，但它卻是治療和診斷的關(guān)鍵。
I often thought of what that woman taught me, and I reminded myself of the importance of stopping, sitting down and truly listening.
And, not long after, in an unexpected twist, I became the patient, with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis at age 31. Now, 20 years later, I sit all the time – in a wheelchair.
我經(jīng)常去琢磨，那個(gè)老婦人究竟讓我懂得了什么。放下自己的想法，坐下來(lái)真誠(chéng)地傾聽，我提醒自己要銘記這樣做的重要性。而就在那次會(huì)面過(guò)去不久后，事情發(fā)生了意想不到的大扭轉(zhuǎn)——我被確診患上了多發(fā)性硬化癥，成了一名病人。那年我31歲。
如今，20年過(guò)去了，我需要一直坐著——坐在輪椅中。
For as long as I could, I continued to see patients from my chair, but I had to resign when my hands were affected. I still teach med students and other health care professionals, but now from the perspective of physician and patient.
我曾盡自己所能，繼續(xù)坐在輪椅上去看病人，但當(dāng)我的雙手也出現(xiàn)癥狀后，我不得不選擇退休。如今我仍然為醫(yī)科學(xué)生和其他醫(yī)療專業(yè)人員上課，但現(xiàn)在不僅僅是站在醫(yī)生的角度——還有病人的角度。
I tell them I believe in the power of listening. I tell them I know firsthand that immeasurable healing takes place within me when someone
stops, sits down and listens to my story.
我跟他們說(shuō)，我相信傾聽是味良藥。我告訴他們，我親身體會(huì)到，當(dāng)有人停下自己的事，坐下來(lái)聆聽你的故事時(shí)，會(huì)在你的身體里產(chǎn)生無(wú)法估量的治愈力。
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